Can’t all Birthdays Be Like This? (Part 2)

As we walked towards Flynn’s,  The Pharmacist rambled on about something with the current boyfriend of hers, about how all he ever does is talk about himself and never once really questions her days, what she wants to do in life, her goals, anything.

Its 2015 and it seems some guys still have no clue how to be tuned in…

I’ve always made it a point to try and support someone else’s goals if I feel there might be something long-term worth working towards.  Keep in mind, I did not say forget your own and immerse yourself in theirs.  But I digress….

We walked along the narrow footpath, her clutching me close and squeezing my palm.  I gave her a smile, to which she would question “what?”.  I’d say nothing,  just keep smiling and turn my head straight again.

Before long we were at the front steps to Flynn’s, which I think is the only real prominent spot to have a good time on the Island.  We rendezvoused with two of her friends that were there to see the band that was playing that evening, as well as keeping my head on a swivel to check for another familiar face I’d hope not to cross paths with there.  One of the other girls from the gym happened to be at a bachelorette party there, and I was almost certain we’d be spotted by her.  She’s friends with one of the biggest gossipers at my gym, and I prefer to keep my business these days private.    Luckily we never did.

Upon meeting the two other women, I figured what the heck, a round for the four of us.  It was my birthday weekend after all, and I’d have plenty being passed to me.  4 Vodka & Sodas were passed around as we made our way outside to the second bar/dancefloor, where a bikini contest was underway.  I made it a point to oogle and holler at them like all the other guys right in front of The Pharmacist, to which she got a bit of a jealous kick out of and ribbed me a few times.  My standard response was a laugh and a shit-eating grin, followed by pulling her close to me and steering her back towards the bar.

By the time the band came on stage the four of us were already a few drinks in the hole.  The Pharmacist had pretty much come straight from work without eating, and we all know what happens when you drink on an empty stomach.  We had commenced to buying alternate rounds, with a few shots in between.  Getting sloppy quickly was an understatement.

I was talking to her friend for a short moment when I got nudged by The Pharmacist and a shot glass pushed into my face.

I got you a shot of Patron for ya…Happy Birthday sweetie!” She kissed me on the cheek as I downed the tequila while grabbing her waist with my free hand, pulling her in close.  Her arms found their way around my waist, smiling and watching me shake my head in fervor as I always do with strong drinks.

The band came on shortly after, playing several good covers in a row.  I took a breather for a moment to walk to the other side of bar and have a look over the sound, taking in the glow of the setting sun and having some thoughts to myself.

Can’t say I’ve had this much fun for a birthday in a long time…I wonder what’s in the cards for us…

I snapped out of my gaze and looked over my shoulder, The Pharmacist across the ways smiling at me and giving me a ‘come hither’ motion with her outstretched arm.  Take a sip, savor it, exhale, collect my thoughts and return.

She wrapped her arms around my waist once more, swaying me back and forth as the interim DJ struck up a few popular beats.   Her friend gave me a ‘come here’ look on her face, so I pried myself away to pique my curiousity.

“She’s had wayyy too much to drink…I’ve only seen her like this once!  You need to cut her off soon…”

I didn’t need to be reminded twice.  Several thoughts had come to mind of previous get-togethers with other women where the drinking had exceeded their emotional capacity, turning them from sexually-tensioned females to waterworks-laden, projectile vomiting beasts.  I was trying to end this day on a good note, not one of clothes reeking of alcohol-stained stomach matter.

No sooner did I turn around when The Pharmacist practically tackled me in her somewhat inebriated state.  I held my ground, saving us the embarrassment of landing in several peoples drinks and probably getting tossed from the joint.  I pulled her to an isolated corner of the bar.

“No need getting all excited to see me honey, I’m not going anywhere,” I said with a slight smirk.

“What did Megan want?  You were talking to her for a long time” (in reality it was no longer than 30 seconds…you know how time takes forever in drunk-land).

I figured I’d get slapped for this one, but now was the time to try the jerkboy charm.

“Oh nothing, she was asking for my number, thought I was cute and had a good dance routine going on with ya.  You don’t mind sharing do you?” a huge shit-eating grin crossed my face.

The Pharmacist shoved me away, but not before landing a good one right to my ribcage.  That’s gonna leave a mark…  I was laughing so hard I had to sit back for a second and steady myself, before reaching over to pull her back to me, wrapping my arms around her from behind.

“Now now, don’t be rude in public.  Save the fists and the slapping for the bedroom,” I whispered in her ear.  She squeezed my forearms in acknowledgement as I felt her anger subside.  She takes well to commands.  I’m beginning to like this!

Another round of shots comes up from the bar, the house is buying.  I contemplate taking it for a moment, before her hand guides my arm to my face and I’m downing it anyway.   We dance some more, things are much more carefree in my mind, I spout off some pretty sexual things that I don’t really remember, and then it happened.

The band finishes playing their second set, The Pharmacist turns to me and puts her arms around my neck.  She’s got that look in her eyes….I pause, nose to nose, peering intently into her world, when I feel her nose slip next to mine.  We lock lips, slow at first, building into a feverish tempo that only a buzzed mentality brings about.   I break first, pulling back to catch my breath and lock eyes again, before she moves in for the kill, pulling on my lower lip first before assaulting my tongue with hers.  Even drunk, my raging boner showed signs of appreciation.

This continued for the next few songs.  Dance, flirt/kiss, poke fun at each other, few negs, some obscene jokes that resulted in me getting jabbed again, rinse and repeat.  We escaped the noise that was part combination loud-speaker blaring in my left ear and a bar crowd that was starting to get a little unruly for my tastes.  Walking the docks hand in hand, we stopped at the end to sit down and let our ears and minds drain of the madness that was ensuing.  I leaned back against a piling, her curling up between my legs, resting her head on my chest.

“I’m happy…” she said quietly.  I said nothing as usual, just caressing her hand.  I took a peek at my watch, It was past 8:30 at this point and the next ferry would be leaving at 9:40.  We intended on staying until the last one at 11:10 but I highly doubt we would have made it.  Saying goodbye to her two friends, I led her off down the brightly lit path when one of the transformers up on the pole let go with a loud bang.

Everything was plunged into darkness, along with the hoots and hollers of all the drunks walking around.  Armed with the trusty smartphone flashlight (comes in handy for times like these),  we followed the beaten path back towards the ferry, where the lights were still working.  Instead of making a right for the docks, she pulled me left towards the beach.

“I’ve gotta pee, cmon lets go to the beach..I wanna see it” she mumbled incoherently.  Being buzzed myself I let out a short laugh and followed behind.  It wasn’t much of a walk, only a few minutes.  We plodded our way down to waters edge, I taking a stretch and laying out on the sand while I watched her dance around with her panties to the side, trying to pop a squat doing the drunk lean.

She finished up, kinda walked around a bit, ending her little jaunt in the sand at my feet.  Kneeling down, she pushed me onto my back and straddled my crotch, draping her hair in my face before we began yet another tongue twisting fight.  She ground her hips into mine, my hands finding their way to her soft, supple ass cheeks and giving a tug on each.  Her hands found their way to my zipper, furiously tugging at the button trying to release the raging hard-on I had.  I pulled her panties to the side and slipped a finger in.  She’s super hot, and creaming my finger..Jesus…






Can’t all Birthdays be like this? (Part 1)

Whilst fighting the massive waves, the riptide, and getting sunburned this morning at the beach, it tired me out enough to relax under my umbrella and figure how I was going to lay this one out.  I think the last time my birthday turned out like this was some 3-4 years ago….


Friday, August 21st.

I spent most of the morning studying (ok I was cramming) in class for my Electrics 2 final.  I needed to pass this course to move towards my A-title in my career and make the big jump in pay Ive been looking forward to.  Between naughty texts from The Pharmacist and another girl from POF (not worth mentioning), my head was somewhere else than the classroom.

While we were at the beach the weekend before, she had mentioned that on the 22nd she was going to a small performance at a bar on Fire Island with one of co-workers.  A pretty decent cover band was playing, and shes seen them at several venues so why not make an evening of it?

I shot her a text earlier in the week asking when she was going to be back from her day-trip, and she just kinda jumped to the point and replied “how about you come? It’ll be a good time and i’ll introduce you to my friend…and its your birthday!”

How could I refuse?

In the back of my head I figured she had something up her sleeve.

Friday dragged for what seemed like forever.  Passed the final with a 92 and was out the door in a flash to hit the gym and get a workout in.  One of the coaches there happened to have the same birthday as me, so the owner came up with a workout named after her, and it was right up her alley.  30 minutes later, sprawled on the floor drenched in sweat, I had completed it.  My own birthday workout would be listed at the 9:30AM class on Saturday morning, which is usually a good one, and I couldn’t wait.

I was not disappointed.  The workout he had come up with was right up MY alley.  Some of my favorite movements.  Hang Power Cleans, Sprints, Box Jumps, and Burpees.  My shoulders were going to pay for this later on….

As was the case from Mattituck, my boy threw me the keys to his BMW again.  I had kept him in the loop with what was going on with The Pharmacist and like a good bro, he did what he could to help me make the best of an already great weekend.  He’s seen me come from rock bottom, with no place to live, $500 to my name and the clothes on my back, to the man I am today.

Scarfing down some eggs and bacon at the diner local to the gym, I headed home to clean up and get ready.  Car was washed, my apartment was clean (just in-case I was able to take her back there), hair-did, clothes pressed.  She would be coming straight from work, which would be due north of where the ferry was leaving Bayshore.  Since I’m always one to be late, I decided to leave a half hour early and take a bit of a long way out to Bayshore, windows down and enjoying the low 80s weather.

I arrived at a nearby Starbucks with nearly 50 minutes to spare.  My phone buzzed with several texts I ignored while driving.

“Figures, the evening shift pharmacist is running late, and I needed to be out of here to make the 3:50 ferry..not sure if we’re gonna make it :-/”

“No biggie, we can always catch the next one, plenty of time to find out more about you ;-)”

The other call/text was from a very close friend, who had been talking to his youth counselor about some car related stuff and stumbled upon his 1991 Porsche 911 Carrera 2 sitting in the driveway fading away its existence.  A 20 minute conversation asking for more pictures, any history on the car, what it would need (a full on restoration, something like $25k+) and what would he take realistically for the car.  This might be my way into the Porsche Community, as prices for these rides have risen out of reach from the average enthusiast, going into peoples portfolios for net worth assessments.  Garage or Trophy Queens, if you may.  Not how a Porsche should live its life.

The Pharmacist buzzed me again, saying she was close by, and looking for the lot to meet me in.  Two minutes later her Subaru rolled up, the smell of Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle wafting in my direction as she stepped out.

Gucci sunglasses shielded her hazel eyes from me as I took in her beauty.  The athletic curves I was used to seeing in the gym all the time were hidden underneath a black and white sundress, bluish-green flowers adorning it.  Her cleavage was barely contained as well, and offered a great view that I could sneak a look at when the opportunity presented itself (yes I am a boob guy, not so much an ass or legs man…)

She outstretched her arms and gave me a warm hug, as I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.  She paused slightly before turning her head, perhaps she had been ready to lock lips before I steered clear.

Parking had been a bit of a hassle.  Arriving on a bright Saturday afternoon meant no parking at all down by the ferry, which gave us a healthy 3/4 mile walk down to the docks.  I wasn’t complaining, more time to talk and escalate again with the touching and holding hands.   We missed our 3:50 ferry,  to which she was dismayed slightly but two cold beers from the stand remedied that.  We spent the next hour talking crazy stories, from when I got clocked by the Jersey State Police doing 135+ mph in my BMW at 6am and let off with a warning (!!!) to her scar on her left abdomen (school friend and her ran from a bar drunk because some dude wouldn’t leave them alone, fell and tripped in the gravel and a large stone pierced her side, and the resultant 2am trip to an insta-care facility, who performed quite a botch job in suturing it up).  I was sewing the bad-boy mentality into her mind, which she had confidently accused me of sleeping with several other women in my gym (I can neither confirm nor deny these accusations :-p).

4 drinks later, giggling like buffoons and making fun of the unawares public, our ferry arrived.  We piled into the main cabin with the excuse of ‘my hair will get all frizzy if we go topside’.  No big deal, I can make do anywhere I suppose.

Taking up residence next to a window, the banter between us flowed incessantly.  I’d get The Pharmacist to laugh, she’d push me away a little, and I’d put my arms around her and pull her into me, her head tucked gently beneath my chin.  This went on for several moments until a brief silence had caused me to collect my thoughts and realize I was extremely hungry (breakfast after the workout barely held me over) and tired.  I began to nod off and was woken up almost immediatley by her.

“I wanna stick my head out the window! Move over!”

I gave her a look that went unchanged for a few moments, but she had her intentions of getting to that window whether I was there or not.  So she climbed on top of me and sat down in my lap, semi-grinding/wiggling her ass as she did so.

I did what any normal guy would do.  Put my hands at her waist and pulled her closer.  The erection in my pants was expanding at quite a rate, her sensing it and focusing her movements right on it.  I almost lost my nut right there.  My hands picked up the texture of two tiny strings of cotton through her sundress, which to me, only meant two things.  Either a G-string or a thong.  My mind raced as to which it could be…would I find out before nightfall?

We pulled dockside a short time later, bouncing off the boat with her in the lead, pulling my hand through the narrow walkways that make up Fire Island (there are no cars except the fire department there, its all bicycle or walking).   She stopped once to look back, smile at me, and continue pulling me along as I tried to slow down and take in the scenery and the inhabitant’s homes.

The fun was just beginning…..



Surf’s Up!

I was up before my alarm went off, which for me is quite odd given the fact I never seem to get enough sleep.  I had went back to the gym the previous afternoon and well into the evening to help with tearing up the floors and laying the new matting down.  More people would be coming Saturday to help out, so I excused myself to a day at the beach.  It was the middle of August and my pale ass hadn’t been even once.  (Next year I plan to start real early around May…)

In the middle of my morning shower my phone buzzed itself across my shelf.  It could only be her calling me, I wonder if shes calling to flake like so many other women have done in the past..

Stepping out, I checked the inbox, two messages and a missed call, asking if I had eaten yet, did I want her to pick something up, or just go together.  Now I’m always a proponent of doing stuff together.  Allows me to build kino with light touching and jokes, escalating the situation until she either puts a stop to it or takes it to the next level.

5 minutes later she was at my front door,  I hopped in and directed her to a good deli that was not too far from my place.  Their staple bacon/egg/cheese is pretty damn good (yes you can mess it up), and its always a good way to start a bright and sunny morning before hitting the beach.

While inside, I took the chance to touch her forearm and turn it palm facing up, observing the rip at the base of her fingers that was healing over.

“Ripped pretty bad on those pullups Wednesday huh?  They got me too.”

The Pharmacist let out a short laugh, flexing her hand and balling up her fingers. “Nooooooo don’t look at them its ugly! I ripped so bad and its just beginning to heal…”

I smiled slightly while trying to slip my fingers into hers in somewhat of a playful effort to pry them open, which was interrupted by the deli owner telling us our orders were ready.  Walking back out to the car she pushed her arm up against mine to compare my Casper-the-friendly-ghost skin to her tan lines.

“You’re pale as shit.  Gonna fix that today!”

I smirked and said nothing in return.

A stop at Starbucks once in Long Beach followed by hunting for a parking spot, and the sound of the ocean waves lured us to its tranquility.  The only way for us pale ass people to tan is just to put some kinda suntan lotion on, slightly burn (or really burn) and then tan out by the end of the following week.  I neglected my umbrella this time around, as I really wanted some color to show off the body I had worked so hard to create over the past year.

We made small talk, I thanking her for using her sister’s beach pass to get me in free, how nice it was to be some of the first people on the beach, etc.   I couldn’t wait to get in the water, the waves beckoning to me.

“I’m going in, and I’m dragging you with me.”

“Ha!  No I’ll come get my feet wet, but thats it.  Too cold!”

“Suit yourself…” I got up and made a dash for the water.

Talk about refreshing.  The cold water slapped my face as I dove headlong into the first big wave.  After several of them I turned to look back towards the shore, and she was standing there , barely her ankles in the water, keeping an eye on me.  I made my way back to shore and grabbed her hand.

“It’s not that cold, come…”

“Nooo wait its too cold!  I’m coming just wait!” she cooed.

I ignored her pleas, wrapping my hand firmly around hers and pulling her into the surf, her free hand clamping around mine.  I felt her body press against my back.

“Ahhh its too cold!!!!”

“No going back, just jump in!”

We were waist deep in no time, spending a good 10 minutes in the waves before the lifeguards called us out for heavy surf conditions.  I regard myself as an able swimmer, no professional by any means but I can hold my own pretty well against the waves and under-tow conditions.

Trudging back to our towels, I dried off before laying down and closing my eyes.  She pulled her towel closer and nudged me.

“Wanna see my cat? Shes such a fluff ball!”

I took it as an opportunity to get a little closer to her, going shoulder to shoulder, putting my hand over hers to shield the screen from the suns glare.

“Shes cute, I have two of my own, let me show you..” I pulled out mine to flip through my photo album as she leaned over with her chin on my shoulder.  I felt an erection stirring in my swim trunks,  grateful to be laying face down to hide it from the world.

She likes to flirt…I like where this is going.  

She laughed when she saw the racoon-sized cat that popped on the screen.  I prodded her a little and pushed her off of me.  “Don’t judge me, I love my cats just the way they are!” I quipped back with a slight snobbish/matter of fact tone.   With that I pulled my hat over my head for some sun relief, closed my eyes and let the sounds lull me to sleep.

At some point I felt the cold spray of suntan lotion hitting my back followed by a pair of hands massaging it in.  I cracked an eye to see her working my back gently in the blazing sun.

“You were starting to burn so I put on some of the sport sunblock I brought along…don’t worry I’ll get my disgusting hands off your back soon enough”

“No its quite alright, I was kinda enjoying your calluses.  Ribbed for my pleasure is how the saying goes, right?”

“Hey!” A finger jabbed at my torso.  I rolled over and jabbed her back, getting up to make my way back down to the water for another swim. She snapped her fingers at me and held her arms up, waiting for me to grab ahold and stand her up.  I glared at her without saying a word.


“What am I,  your personal butler?  Who you think you snappin your fingers at?” as I pulled her on her feet.

“Yes you are, I’ll snap my fingers at whoever I please!”

“Oh really?” my hand gave her a playful slap on her ass and I jogged my way into the surf.

“Hey!  Come back here!  I’m not done with you!” The Pharmacist followed suit, jumping on my back and swinging her legs around me.  I laughed, charging headlong into the ocean and using her as a shield to brace myself from the oncoming waves.  She couldn’t take much of the abuse and cried uncle, to which I dunked her right off my back into the water.  She had claimed to keep her hair dry the whole time, and I took it as a challenge to try and get her head under whenever I could.

We messed around for quite a bit until we were called in once again by the heavy surf.  I was getting tired at the point, the breakfast calories being burned up in all the swimming and cardio that was going on.  We packed up our stuff and made our way to the boardwalk, her putting her arm in mine for a short time.

“You started getting some color!  You’ll be like me before you know it!”

“Well you have to keep coming with me so I can compare in real-time, to make sure I’m progressing.  Don’t want to look better than you now.” Another jab at my waist.

She must’ve pulled this twice in the car on the way home, pushing her arm up against mine to make a remark about one thing or another.  I played aloof, mostly because I was starting to fall asleep.  Not even mid-day yet, and I was already in need of a nap.

We rolled up to my house, I gathered my stuff and turned to thank her for a great morning out.  She responded like-wise, then there was that awkward silence.  Both of our eyes remained locked on each other, neither one saying a word.  I had only been in this same scenario two weeks prior, and knew exactly what to say.

“Come here….”

She leaned in slightly, paused, then pulled back and shook her head ‘no’ and giggled a little.


I didn’t need to question why, or try to reason about it.  She didn’t feel it, and I didn’t press the issue.

“Get home safe and I’ll talk to you later.”  I reached for the door handle and exited, turning once to look back at her.  She was smiling, giggled once more and sped off down the street like the crazed speed demon she always was.

Smiling ear to ear, I opened the door to greet my cats and hop in the shower to wash the Atlantic Ocean off me.

She’s hooked and she knows it.  Patience…..




The Pharmacist

Be patient as my PC has been on the fritz and I’m about to toss it out the window.  Doing this from my Smart Phone (thanks Nexus 6)…

Since things eventually came to a standstill with Liz I cast my net once again.  I had been chatting up another woman from my gym, with the usual light jokes/sarcasm and getting good response / IOIs (indicators of interest).  Since my work schedule over the summer has the option of a 4 day work week, I’d usually pull Fridays off to enjoy a nice, long weekend (which to date hasn’t rained yet).  This allowed me to slip into a 9:30am class where it was mostly women, and increased my odds of conversation.

This particular weekend though, I was helping my coach (along with several others ) to tear up the old matting and replace it with 3/4″ industrial grade competition matting.  I had exchanged messages via Facebook with said lady, and told her I was trying to get there around 8-8:30 to squat and do some other odds and ends before the 9:30 class, and told her not to be late (I skipped the question of asking her if she wanted to come or not entirely, just made a statement directly).  Much to my surprise, she said she’d see me there, and ended it with a smile emoji.

I was somewhere in the middle of a few sets on a rower, out of breath and sweaty, when she walked in and smiled at me.  I nodded slightly in return as I tried to keep on pace and finish the row.  I would make small talk later, fitness and exercise come first.

My coach had come in and saw the two of us going at it and asked if we were doing the 9:30, to which I nodded.  Shooting her a look, then me, he smirked a little and walked out the door to finish coaching the 8am class.  (We’ve been on a 10 week cycle, doing heavy front squats and sprints Wednesdays/Fridays).  He knew what I was up to, and he was happy to see me finally getting out of my funk with my ex and chasing women as I was accustomed to before I met her.

After warming up and stretching our hips/legs, we both tackled our barbells and piled the weights on.  I was beat up and sore from the previous days workout, and only managed 255lbs for 3 reps (as of today its back up at 280 for 3).  The Pharmacist stared at her bar, 150lbs resting on its ends.

“This is so heavy, I can’t move this for three…”

“Well it isn’t going to move itself just by staring at it.  Take a deep breath at the top of each rep and get to it” I quipped back.

3 reps later, drenched in sweat, she clunked the bar back on the rack.

“See that wasn’t so hard was it?”

She managed a smile and laughed.  The 9:30 class was about to start soon, we put our equipment away and walked outside to meet the rest of the attendees.

“You’re working 2-10 tonight?”

“Yeah, and on a Friday too.  Sucks…”

Good, you’ll have time to join me for breakfast after these sprints, I always feel like I could eat a horse afterwards. They kill me!”

She blushed a little, stared at the ground for a moment.


Class came and went, and we made the short drive to the diner up the block.  A little side note, I’ve been eating here regularly after working out because their eggs/bacon/home fries are amazing.  And I like my eggs over medium, which means medium, not over easy like every other place does.

She eagerly jumped into to conversation with me, asking me how I started at this gym, how long I’ve been there, what I do for a living (which I responded as being a superhero for NYC).

I began to inquire about her college years, as she has many pictures of it on Facebook.  No real selfies or anything (actually none that I can think of), always a group shot or a picture taken by someone else.

“Oh I loved my college years!  I spent 8 years in school, got my doctorate in Pharmaceuticals, and came back to get a lousy job at Walgreens,” she finished with a sigh.  “I don’t even really go on Facebook anymore, I just use it to store all my pictures, I have so many of them.”

A quick search later on the average pharmacist salary from that particular chain of stores revealed one that currently put her at making nearly 3 times what I do.  I always thought it was a $40k/year career but quite the contrary.

Hmm.  Well established career, isn’t insecure with the need for internet validation, likes to work out….off to a good start.  And she’s a white girl….could I break the streak?

Our food arrived and silence ensued as we wolfed down our breakfast.  She had to be off to work soon, and I to the shop for a few sidejobs.  My birthday was around the corner and I wanted some extra spending loot, even though I had no plans really to speak of.

Being the gentleman I always am, I covered breakfast and we made our way out to the lot, with a short kiss on the cheek and a hug before we went our separate ways.

My mind was pretty occupied with other things that afternoon,  and as I let the shower steam the bathroom that evening my phone buzzed with a text from her.

“Hey there 🙂 You’re still going to the beach tomorrow right?”

I smiled to myself.

“Yep, prolly leaving the house around 9, want to get there early before the crowds and grab food as well”

“Hm ok that sounds good…I might want to come :)”

“Its ‘I want to’, not ‘might’.  I’ll see you at 8:30”

“haha ok I’ll come 🙂 see you tomorrow, send me your addy”


Game on….


Lessons learned:

  • Be direct with what you want.  I’ve found even if I get rejected I will usually get the respect from the opposite sex for being forward with it, not trying to beat around the bush with hidden agendas.  Although there is a time to play coy, and lead up to something without actually saying it.
  • Put yourself outside your comfort zone.  Be scared to do something, as you will gain a great sense of confidence when you accomplish it.  Or even if you fail it, give it a shot and try it again.





Just when you think you’re up (Part 2)

I blew off her rejection with hardly a change of emotion.

“You’re the type that plays hard to get hm?”

She smiled coyly.

“Perhaps…what type of guy are you?”

“The one your mother warned you about, that jerkass you deny but secretly love,” I said with a smirk, changing the topic.  “When was the last time you sat back, looked at the stars and unplugged?”

Liz hesitated for a moment, rolled over into my arms and sighed.

“This would be my first time doing so, and I have to say I’m enjoying it.”

Again I nodded, saying nothing.  She fumbled for my phone and went about trying to figure my passcode to unlock it.

“Do you always touch stuff that isn’t yours without asking?  I’m starting to wonder if your mother raised you right,” I quipped as I snatched it from her hands.  She let out a hearty laugh, enjoying the fact I was lecturing her sternly as if she was a child.

Youtube was soon up, we played several hits from the early/late 90s, some of which brought back memories of my school days as well as causing me to think.  How is this young lady so in-touch with great music?  She can’t stand Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus and the like, but shes down for some Pearl Jam and Bush? 

She brought up the topic of relationships, and asked what I was looking for.  She began to explain her last relationship, quite a long one (6 years), and possibly her only long term one.  High School Crush, becomes loyal to a guy while he cheats left and right behind her back.  Yet still stayed with him, and eventually couldn’t stand the emotional torture and left.  Again I played with her questions.  I learned my lesson with being serious on the first date..its a buzzkill.  No one finds a serious person interesting at all.

“What am I looking for?  Well, my hand is lonely, and I’m thirsty, so…..I’m looking for a beer.  Since there are none here, can you be a dear and fetch me one from the fridge?  Thanks.”

She looked extremely confused for a second, then burst out laughing again.  “You think you’re a real Casanova huh? 

“I don’t think, I am honey….get to it” as I gave her a light playful slap on her ass.  She giggled again, climbed off and disappeared inside.  I followed suit, but stopped short at the table on the patio to mingle with family and the other guests for a moment.  My sister’s boyfriend looked up at me, smiled, gave the thumbs up and motioned with his index finger going through a hole with his other hand (age old term for ‘smashing it’).  I smirked, turned to see Liz coming out with my beer and put my arm around her.  She reciprocated, and turned me towards the door.  “Lets go inside, its too hot out here and the bugs are eating me alive.”

Shit, don’t mind if I do!

I took advantage of the air conditioning, sprawling about on the couch directly in the airflow.  Liz pushed my legs to the side and snuggled up next to me.

“I wanna watch Pirates of the Caribbean, I’ve never seen the whole thing..”

Well neither have I to be honest…lets see what goes from here.

As Johnny Depp pun’d/joked/exploded his way through the movie, she laid her head on my chest, playing with my hand again and trying to put my legs between hers, which soon became a friendly little competition, me winning out with my legs firmly trapping hers.  Conceding with a giggle, then a sigh as she traced my fingers ever so gently.

“So tell me, where did you get this PhD in cuddling?  I must admit its impressive,” I inquired.

“Ha!  Do you always use that line on women?”

“Only the cute ones….” I trailed off.

Liz pulled herself tighter to me and wrapped her arm across my abs.  Her breathing became slower, and my eyelids became heavy.  My lower body said stay awake, my brain was telling me enough was enough.  Fighting my own conscience to start making the moves, the emotions that were surfacing in my mind that I hadn’t felt in years versus sleeping was tiring me out even more, and I soon succumbed to darkness.



I blinked slowly, squinting my eyes at the bright TV screen.  2:30AM.  We’d been asleep on the couch for nearly 4 hours.  Nudging her head gently with my chin and a soft kiss, I pulled her up and carried her to bed.  The AC was frigid at the point, so we bundled up under the covers and she immediately spooned me, pulling my arm over her and squeezing my hand.   I was somewhat awake now, the short nap screwing my otherwise perfect sleep cycle.

“So what are you really looking for?” her voice piercing the silence.

“I’m not really sure, I haven’t put much thought into it.  Just come for the ride and go with the flow,” I quietly responded.

She turned to face me once more, talking about her small tumor buried deep in her brain, that one day might paralyze her.  The consequences of operating on it at this time could very well blind her, erase her memory, leave her with a loss of speech or any motor signals to her extremities.  About her talking in her sleep because of it, her insomnia issues.

I think I murmured some sort of ‘that sucks, I’m sorry to hear that’ response, my hand finding her chin in the darkness and guiding it to mine.

“Come here…” I went for it again.

She pulled away and turned over, attempting to spoon me again.  At first I wanted no part of it,  but my nurturing/protective instincts won the best of me and before long she was wrapped tightly in my arms.


Sunlight forced its way into the bedroom, directly onto my face, which became quite annoying as I felt my face getting hot while my body froze under the sheets.  As I rubbed the crud from my eyes I glanced a the clock.  7:30AM.  Ugh….the bed ended up being not so comfortable, as well as my body was all sorts of famboozled with the lack of sleep/long naps/whatever you call it.

I slipped out of the room to grab the shower first, with 6 people in the home I wanted my peace and quiet and to use most of the hot water (haha).  I stared at the immaculately laid tile floor beneath my feet as the water rushed by.

What did she want?  Why the rejection?  Everything was going just right…..

Breakfast was short time later, with her having to head back to Connecticut to see her family and wish her brother good luck as he left for the Marines.  I wolfed down my eggs and bacon and accompanied her outside.

“Hey, it was great meeting you this weekend, I had a good time.  How about we exchange numbers?  I might have a free day next weekend, lets get together for drinks.”

Liz smiled.  “Sure!  I might be a little busy next Saturday but I’m definitely around Sunday.  Oh and the 15th my friend wants to go to Fire Island, why don’t you come?  Its gonna be a good time!”

Hm maybe this won’t end badly after all…..

The entire ride home was wondering where I was going to go with this.  Did I want a fling?  Did I want to pursue a relationship out of it?  Am I ready to do this again?

We chatted briefly once I arrived home to let her know I was safe.  I had a christening to attend for the rest of the afternoon, which ended up back at a friends place, somewhat buzzed and in the pool.

Two days later I sent a follow-up text to re-confirm plans, as I had some close friends who where gonna be in town and I don’t like leaving people hanging.

No answer.

A day later, I figured I’d be different and make an actual call, instead of texting like everyone does these days.  Several rings and straight to voicemail, which I left one.

Friday afternoon I was a bit peeved by it, I could only wonder what would prompt her to not even respond back, so I dropped a hail-mary text of sorts in attempt to voice my displeasure in a cordial way.

*Hey, I’m not gonna beat around the bush here and just cut right to the point.  I find you to be an attractive woman, but I guess we mis-communicated somewhere along the way.  I had a great time with you last weekend, I assumed we’d follow it up and see where it takes us, but you know how assumptions can be.  Best of luck to you*

Within minutes I had a response from her, saying she was confused as to why I was sending her such a message, she hadn’t heard from me since Sunday.  I didn’t believe her, and she sent me a screen shot of her call logs from Wednesday, and my name was void from the list.  She apologized, as she’s not the one to not talk on the phone, she had no voicemail from me either.  My sister was with me and explained that in poor service areas you can miss calls completely or not get messages, as its happened when shes tried to contact her boyfriend from time to time.

I figured I’d let it slide for now, Liz telling me that plans got cancelled for the 15th and Sunday was now occupied with more girls weekend out stuff.  Ive been around the block long enough to know that when someone is interested in you, they will make the time to see you, even for a short moment.

I haven’t pressed further at the moment.  I’m not mad or disappointed, just indifferent to the situation.  The night before I arrived in Mattituck she had a post up on social media about someone making her sick and that they were the scum of the earth and she hoped they died.   My only guess is that it pertains to her ex, and sure enough it was taken down a day later.  I don’t like to air dirty laundry on social media, nor write statuses that fish for sympathy.

Fast forward to today, sure enough, another video posted to a song called ‘If I Could Hate You’, and the lyrics were all about breaking up and drama, etc.  Clearly she’s not over this guy, and I think I was used as more of a ‘feel-good’ stand-in for her to enjoy the weekend, and discarded when it was over and time to head back to reality.

I’m choosing to let this one lie.  I’ve kept it cordial enough to the point where if we have another social gathering it won’t be awkward.  As for now there’s another woman in my sights, which has progressed further than I thought in a short two weeks.  Stay tuned….





Just when you think you’re up (Part 1)

July for the most part has sped on by.  Lots of overtime, 2 weeks spent in training, and sidework at the shop on the weekends.  15 days straight without a break.  I was beginning to get burned out.

Good thing my mother and her boyfriend had planned a brewery tour out on the north fork of Long Island.  Its just like a winery tour, cept with beer (quality craft beer I might add).   A close friend of mine who, to this day is still one of my best BMW customers (one who lent me his room the night my ex and I split), had some noises coming from the front end of his ride.  He tossed me the keys one Thursday evening and said to figure out what was wrong and enjoy it for the weekend.   For anyone who knows me,  I’m a car nut…and I built his car with 95% of my recommendations, and it drives like a dream.  Having it for 3 days would be heaven to get away from my Civic.

Friday came and went, I planned on  hitting the gym but the BMW was pretty dirty, so along with dinner I spent most of the night washing and waxing.  I wanted the weekend to be perfect.

The alarm on my phone buzzed away the following morning, waking me up in a bit of a daze.  I’d been short on sleep the past two weeks, and my body didn’t want to move.  I peeked out my window, clear blue skies and a warm rising sun greeting me.  I smiled to myself, fed the cats and jumped in the shower.   Thoughts of this new interest flooded my mind,  wondering how it was going to play out.

Donning my new shades I had just received the previous day (thanks HeatWave Visual),  Germany’s finest caught in three cranks, coughing and grumbling into a steady roar.  Select 1st, ease out the clutch and off I go.  Starbucks was only a few minutes away and early morning drives are not complete with a Grande Iced Blackeye.  For those unfamiliar with the lingo, its iced coffee with two shots in it.  Straight up black, no sugar or milk (ok maybe a splenda).  Gets me uppity and happy.

Windows down, on the Expressway heading east, music blasting.  From Lil Wayne to some Nas and Jay-Z, from BloodGroove & Kikis and Knife Party, and everything in between.  I was making good time, traffic was light and the cops were nowhere to be found.  I found myself several times buried somewhere deep in the triple digits on empty stretches.

The navigation led me flawlessly to the house my mother and friends had rented for the weekend out in Mattituck….well almost.  It had instructed me to make a left into the trees, which I found out later there was indeed a road there.  Slight detour and I arrived at the house with 10 minutes to spare, the limo already waiting outside for us.

I was introduced to several people, but this new girl was nowhere to be seen.  I stuck my head in the trunk and gathered my overnight bag and some dress shoes, just in case we decided to go out later in the evening.   As I turned to head towards the house, our eyes met.  She had her hand extended and was smiling.


“Hi, I’m Liz!  Nice to meet you.”

She was about 5’5″, 5’6″….white girl, blonde hair with a gorgeous smile and a perky set.  Yep I looked.  What did you think sunglasses were for?

We bantered a short bit, her apologizing for not responding to me on facebook a few weeks back.  “I’m sure you’ll make it up to me dear,” I teased.  She smirked and headed for the limo, I in tow.

A short ride later we were at our first stop, The Crooked Ladder brewery.  We met more friends there, laughing and some banter ensued, with me getting lost at somepoint, glued to the TV.  The Crossfit Games were broadcasting live, and I had missed a lot of it already.  Thoughts of my 2013 trip surfaced, I sought to bury them again.  I turned to Liz, who was in line waiting for the ladies room.  I poked at her for breaking the seal first, after several text messages back and forth a few days prior about her being a ‘tank’ and being able to drink anyone under the table (I used to do that when I was 23 too).

The next two breweries flew by, and before I knew it we were back in the limo on the 40 minute ride to the house.  Liz was a bit inebriated at this point, and I had been slowly escalating the tension between us over the afternoon.  I pulled her close to me, she smiled and rested her head in my lap.  She was mumbling about something but my focus was elsewhere, looking out the window at the rolling fields speeding by.

Liz pushed her fingers into mine, squeezing my palm once, then twice.

“Your hands are so rough and callused.  So manly…I like them…”

My heart quickened its beat.  Relax buddy its just a compliment.  Not like she’s asking you to marry her.

I said nothing in return, my mind blank and devoid of some funny sarcastic response while I squeezed her hand back.

Back at the house my sister and I found out there was a trampoline in the backyard, so of course like giddy little children we climbed on and attempted to double-bounce each other until we were green in the face.  I took a short breather to grab another beer when Liz appeared from her room, dressed in a white fitting tee and black yoga pants.  Typical Long Island white girl status.  All she was missing was the UGGs and the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.

“That trampoline looks like a lot of fun, I’m gonna go play on it.  You’re going to join me right?” as she sauntered out the back door.  Sure, why the hell not….

Round two didn’t last very long, as I did several front flips and almost puked the contents of the day.  I flopped on my back, closing my eyes to take a breather and let my insides figure out what the heck they wanted to do with themselves.  Liz plopped herself next to me rested her arm on mine.

“Hey I had a lot of fun today, did you?” she inquired.

“No it was horrible.  The beer sucked, the A/C wasn’t cold in the limo, and you’re not as fun a person as I thought,” I replied with a half cocked grin across my face.

“Oh my God, you jerk!” she lightly punched my arm.  I laughed and rolled over to face her, tickling her a little bit.  She shied away slightly before my arms wrapped around her and pulled her close.  We joked some more, her lightly tracing my rough palms with her fingers.  I gazed into her eyes.

“You have really blue eyes,” she cooed.  We locked gazes for a slight moment.  Fuck it, nothing to lose.

“I can’t make out the color of yours…they look greenish grey…”

“My eyes change color depending on my mood,” she replied.

“Is that so?  Hm let me look closer…”

We were nose to nose, unblinking, daring the other to break first.  My pulse raced.  Her eyes darted back and forth in anticipation of what was to come.  I made my move.

“Mmm-mmm”   Liz turned her head away, hiding it in the corner of her outstretched arm.



A 4th to Remember (or lack thereof)

Things have been humming along the past two months.  I’ve mostly recovered from my injuries and I’m back in the game, finishing off last months backsquat cycle with 335lbs on my shoulders.  355 felt good, although I was stuck right at the halfway point and had to bail.  If I wasnt so tired I probably could have made the lift.  Not far off from my old record of 360, which Im happy about.  Tomorrow we start a new cycle…3 rep front squat, which I’m excited about, as I shine in these areas and it gives me something to focus on.

With the 4th of July around the corner, It had been almost 10 years since I got my hands on some fireworks.  I figured what the hell, lets make this one a bang (even though I really had no plans except to skip between 10 different bbq’s I was invited to).  With that said, I needed some new attire to spice up the old wardrobe.  Off to Lululemon I went.

For those of you who know what it is, its a bad addiction.  $260 later I walked out with two pairs of shorts and polos,  I raped my wallet for another $40 to get a sweet pair of matching Vans to go with them (still cant see myself in boat shoes just yet). A friend of mine just so happens to work in that store and I hadn’t seen her since she left my gym (story for another time).  Lets just say shes the type that’s never single.  Always with a guy, or just fucking him.  One or two guys in my gym have tapped it already, and she’s made several IOIs on me before but I chose not to pursue it in terms of better pussy.

While I was in the fitting room she ran out to get lunch, and was stuffing her face in the backroom when I checked out. My phone buzzed as I walked through the mall to my next destination.

Her: Hey it was good seeing you again, sorry Im stuffing my face in the back room. We don’t hang out often enough.  Lets get together soon!

I agreed that our time together had been limited but we should clear a day out to hit the beach, grab some beers, whatever.  My bedroom life had been lacking a bit (the sexy asian waitress from Martha’s Bakery ended up being a total dud in the sack, along with one other girl from the gym who had no idea how initiate foreplay…), and this girl was well traveled…why not see what she can do?  Not like I was looking to wife it up..

She replied back to me saying she doesnt do beer anymore, only hard liquors.  I had a bottle of Woodford Reserve Double Oaked Whiskey-Bourbon I was saving for the opportune time.  Sent her a pic of it and her response was immediate.

Yes!  Right up my alley 😉

Saturday morning I got my workouts in, showered up and grabbed lunch while I was out.  We bantered back and forth a little, before I ended up falling asleep reading Fearless (great book, go pick it up).  Work and gym coupled with lots of sidework at night had drained me and I needed to recharge my batteries.  I get a text from her around 5PM with a selfie of her drinking and sunbathing in her backyard, saying “you’re late” across the bottom.

In short order I was at her place, sipping my own drink of choice and relaxing topless, trying to get what remained of the sun for 2 hours.  She rambled on about guys on Tinder, her latest ex, one of the guys in the gym that went completely psycho on her and broke it off (after he went to her parents and asked if he could marry her..).

I managed a few “uh-huhs” and “that sucks” and after one particularly long rant (I was thumbing through POF and Tinder myself at that time), I turned to her with a sly grin and said “I missed that, can you start from the beginning? And speak louder this time, Im old ya know?”

She had that look in her eyes.  I poured myself another drink (keeping em small, or so I thought), and bantered at her remarks about into dating blonde guys with glasses (aka me), kept it high sexual in our responses.  Things were going good, she was lowering her defenses a bit.

“You’re more than welcome to stay the night, my bed is available but beware I do fart in my sleep”

I managed a short chuckle.

“Who knows, prolly breathing that in might kill whats left of my gym potential…besides which farts are we talking about??”

She laughed.  “Well the ones coming out the front might make you PR next time!”

Bingo.  Green light, Ghost Rider.

Our appetites soon got the best of us, so I fired up the bbq in the corner, she lit the tiki torches to keep the mosquitoes at bay, while remarking I looked quite manly tending to the grill.  She had changed out of her bikini bottom and into white sweats, which did nothing but accentuate her booty, which was a real handful.

“Your ass jiggles a lot, does it do that because you lift, or it was doing that before?”

“Both, and also Im not wearing any underwear.”

God how I wanted to slip them off right there.

She started getting a little feisty, she was on the phone for a bit arguing with her longtime friend who she decided to give a shot at being with (according to her, fucks like a jackrabbit and finishes inside of 30 seconds, doesnt know how to go down on her, etc), and she came over to mess with my bbq skills, to which I grabbed her by the shoulders forcefully, looked her in the eye, told her to can the attitude, be a good little girl and get back in the kitchen where you belong.  She acknowledged meekly, I turned her around, playful slap of her ass and sent her back inside.  She had mentioned she could never find a guy to let her be independent but at the same time putting her back in her place when she needed to be, and I was showing to her I was not going to let her run things.

As much as some people don’t like this drama, I was actually enjoying it for once.  A good buzz going on, good food cooking, and a hot ass that was all mine later.

Dinner was served a short time later, I grabbed one of the wings I had just cooked, bit into it, realized it was still a bit undercooked but said fuck it, I’m starving.  Next thing I know, not even 30 minutes later Im sitting on the toilet, room is spinning, I’m not buzzed enough to puke, yet I turn around and pretty much up-chuck everything I ate that day.  I knew it wasn’t liquor related because it certainly didnt smell like alcohol.  The TV was blaring in the living room so Im sure she didn’t hear my antics.

Washing my mouth out, I sauntered back to the living room to lay back and watch the rest of the Mets game while she talked to one of her friends on the phone.   That was the last thing I remember.

Nearly two and a half hours later, I wake up to the sound of fireworks going off.  Its after midnight at this point, and I had brought all the fireworks to her place to set off.  The box was half empty, I opened the front door to find two of her hot friends smoking and lighting my shit off.  Da fuck?

She asked me if I was ok, that she had kicked me 4 times on the couch and I didn’t move.  Her friends bailed at that moment, apologized for using my stuff, I just shook my head and went about looking for my shoes and my shirt.  She said if I wasn’t ok to drive I could stay the night on the couch, she was tired and had to be up for work early in the morning.  Her friendly character was gone, her replies curt and cold…..fuck that, the mood was gone, I had missed the boat.  I bid her good evening and left with my tail between my legs.  I might get another shot later on, but the hunt continues for other girls.  I have a family beer tour thing we are doing at the end of July, and my mothers boyfriend is trying to introduce me to a young single chick whos new to the Island, so we’ll see where that goes.

Happy Independence Day everyone.

Lessons Learned :

-Make sure when you bbq, its cooked or use a timer.  When you’re somewhat buzzed, it might seem like forever but in all reality I think I short changed the meat by quite a bit.

-Just because its the village bicycle, doesn’t mean its easy for you to ride too.

-If you’re trying to game a chick, or play along with her games or shit-tests, for the love of God control your alcohol intake.  You can go from confident and witty to a disgusting slob in one sip.  My Woodford Reserve that I had only promised to sip from?  Yea, three-quarters empty.  And she said I was the only one who drank it, she didn’t prefer the taste.  THATS A LOT OF BOURBON!

-When you’re old like me, you WILL lose a day after hardcore drinking.  I just don’t bounce back like I used to.  I spent most of Sunday sleeping, downing Gatorade and greasy food to cure the dizzyness, not to mention the shaking/uncontrollable diarrhea spouting from my rectum whenever it felt like it thanks to food poisoning.

-Should’ve went to see my Grandpa’s grave.  Been exactly a year today since he passed, I have not been since they laid him to rest.  Sorry Pops, I know you’re proud of me for getting into the same company that kept you well employed for 38 years, and I wish I had even a quarter of your sharp wit and funny remarks, and I shoulda went to see you instead of getting bent up and out of shape with some girl I have no desire in a long term future with.

The eternal quest for one man's pursuit of life, love and happiness